Control and freedom

I was thinking about life the other day – and my desire to control it. If I am in control, than I have freedom – or that is what I have always thought.

I have gone to a few museums in my time. At some of the museums, they offer tour guides or audio guides. I rarely get one. You see, if I don’t have someone or something guiding me through the museum than I have the freedom to move at my own pace and in my own direction. But one time, I was talked into getting the tour guide. There goes my freedom I thought – no choosing what wing I want to go to or when I want to move on to the next piece. But what I found was that this guide offered a much richer experience. Yes, some of my options were gone, but what I did have was so much more meaningful – and maybe there is freedom in that – in not being in control.

Why is it that somehow I have come to equate control with freedom? If I am in control that I feel like I have the freedom to make my own decisions, my own choices – and this seems more appealing for some reason. I think I fail to realize that when I try so desperately to maintain control, I am really losing the freedom.