I actually wrote this one a long time ago - but last night I watched the movie 500 Days of Summer and had a conversation that reminded me of this musing from a couple years ago...
KEEPING MY CASTLE
It’s hard to admit when he’s been a total jerk. It’s easier to ignore the little things and make excuses for the big things – at least initially – because then I can call those “little” situations just an aberration – it’s not really what he meant to do, how he meant to make me feel. So, I get to keep my dream, this castle I’ve built – I get to keep my prince, because it’s not about me and it’s not really about him either. But when I admit it, then some of it is on me. I pretended it didn’t mean anything – even when it bothered me. I put up with it – even when it was hurtful. I lived with it – even when it was insulting. And some of it is on him. He acted selfishly. He lied to me – he manipulated me – he tossed my feelings aside. Ultimately, I kept my dream – but it was more of a nightmare. I kept my prince – but he was more of a thief. And I realize I’ve lost a lot more than I’ve managed to keep.
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